I Can’t Handle It

Going to Mass right now.  I managed last Sunday and the vigil Mass for All Saint’s day but today was totally out.

This is also day two after finishing my first prescription of my medication.  I won’t be able to to get another till I see my doctor next month which means I have to get through a major holiday (Thanksgiving) without something.  This is a bad time of year for me.  From now until about Easter is a major bad time for me.  Holidays are not good things, not the way they were dealt with in my family.  Too much backstabbing gossiping, the put downs, the verbal abuse, the silent treatment, the need to be better and more successful, the comparing to my sisters, etc.  There was no love in the holidays only abuse and negativity.

Today was a bad day.  Not so bad that I want to run away but bad enough that I wanted to stay in bed and not do anything.  I don’t even want to go to work tomorrow but I will because I need the money.  I hate depression.




Type this later, if I remember.

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