Depression and God

Dealing with depression is not easy.  Add faith and it gets much harder especially when some of my triggers come from supposed Catholics and my own rearing in the faith.  Right now I find it hard to get out of bed to go to Mass on Sunday mornings.  I didn’t go today though I did manage to go to Confession. 

It seems like now that I’m treating my depression things are worse not better especially with regards to faith.  I can handle work which is weird but Mass is hard though it’s less to do or deal with than work. 

Then I feel guilty though not going seems to be better for me right now, at least in dealing with unknown crowds.  When I wasn’t dealing with my depression, I made it to Mass every week.  Now I can only seem to manage every other week. 

Add in Catholics who have never had to deal with depression and it gets worse.  They don’t understand that you don’t choose to feel or act this way.  They think that depression is a sin or unconfessed sin.  They think praying one specific prayer once will automatically cure you immediately.  They don’t understand and all they do is cause more hurt, more guilt, more pain, and drive us further from God because when you feel like us you want the quick cure and when it doesn’t happen you think there must be something really wrong with you or that you are being punished or that God hates you.  You are the failure and you are going to stay that way because you are so repulsive that you are ignored by God.

So right now I’m surviving and making it to Mass when I can.  I’m a bad Catholic and I know it.  God have mercy on us all.


3 Responses to “Depression and God”

  1. 1 Joseph Richardson 7 July 2013 at 9:07 PM

    I have struggled with depression my whole life, and am a recent Catholic convert. I have found, at least, that as a Catholic, I can go through the motions of worship, of the liturgy, and it is still valuable and meaningful — not like as an evangelical, when something was seriously wrong with me — when I must be a wretched sinner — if I couldn’t “feel” God’s love and joy. Many Catholics — many people — don’t understand. But God understands. And I have found the Sacrament of Confession to be the most beautiful and comforting part of the Catholic faith aside from the Eucharist itself. Going to Confession when you feel wretched might not be a bad idea — not that the depression itself is a sin, but that Reconciliation is one of the Sacraments through which Jesus heals us, and pouring out your soul, so that He can pour in His love, is exactly why He gave us Confession.

    May His love and peace be with you.

    Here’s a post I made about depression:
    Motion and Emotion

  2. 2 generationdavid 18 March 2012 at 7:01 PM

    You don’t have to feel guilty for not going to Mass, you don’t have to feel guilty for not doing the “Christian” duties, Jesus lived the life fulfilling all requirements of the law, He died a death for all of our ungodliness and sin, and He rose that we may rise with Him, that He may live the life we ought to live through us. All we have to do is surrender and rest in His finished work. When you don’t go to Mass or pray or read the Bible, you shouldn’t feel guilty, just hungry for Him. Even if you don’t feel hungry, that’s ok. Ask Him to stir up the hunger. Don’t focus on the wrong you need to confess, but focus on Christ and confess all He has done for YOU. I hope that can serve as some encouragement. Be blessed.

  3. 3 ebwatkins73 18 March 2012 at 6:55 PM

    I just came across your blog doing a search on Christianity. I am sorry sorry to hear you are going through all of this. I was raised in the Catholic Church and have also battled depression off and on through my life. I understand the guilt and feeling like you are a bad Catholic. Remember this though…God loves you and Jesus knows what you are going through. They do not view you as a bad Catholic. They see you as one of God’s children who is struggling. I pray that God carries you through this difficult time.

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