Being unemployed means I have none. Stupid student loan company calls me at least a half dozen times a day looking for money. I keep telling them I have no money but they don’t listen or care. I understand they have a job to do but this is ridiculous.
After talking to the one woman today, I was in tears. It wasn’t so bad the last time because they only called once a day. Now it’s multiple times and they still don’t listen. And I’m reminded of how precarious place I am in right now.
I can’t pay the electric bill due in two days or the PO box that’s due at the end of the month. Or the rent due on the first, the cellphone bill due on the third let alone renew the license plates on my car which expire on the sixth. I won’t get into the credit card bill which I can’t pay at all so student loans are out of the question. If you think I have forgotten about food, I haven’t. I just can’t afford it. Bills come first, me last or not at all. I’m not going to go truly hungry but I’m down to rice, tuna, and some frozen veggies. Some leftovers as well. It probably helps that I don’t have much of an appetite any more.
I’ve been here before but this time seens different. I applied for unemployment but am still waiting for an issue to be resolved. If it ever gets resolved. My friends have already helped me out as much as they can. Now I’m on my own.
And yes, I’m looking for a job. I don’t want to be unemployed or homeless or hungry or have to worry about money. I’ve been those things before. I didn’t like it then either.
I hate myself right now for doing this to myself. I am the only one to blame even if I was fired.