Dear Idiots Smoking Outside My Window,
Leave. I’m allergic to cigarette smoke and it’s coming right into my apartment. It is illegal in the state of Oregon to smoke with in 10 feet of a building. Yes, it might be raining but this is Oregon. Get used to it. Actually, just quit smoking all together. It will be so much better for me. Maybe for you as well but I don’t care about you.
Also, drop the language. All the f*bombs and taking Jesus’s name in vain do not endear me to you. It just makes you sound like idiots. Also, uneducated and illiterate. Learn some adjectives that don’t involve the f-word or breaking a commandment. It still won’t endear me to you but it will sound better.
Please go far, far, far away. You’re obnoxious and rude. Leave.
The Offended Occupant in the Apartment,