Good and Bad

That’s what last week was.

Good in that I seen to be mostly back on a reasonable sleep schedule.  Bad in that my emotional health was at an all time low.  Before medication, I used to cope with these levels of stress and anxiety by what I call researching, which quite literally,means I would research options to whatever problem I was dealing with at the time.  Almost always financial.  So I would check the bank account, check whatever account (usually student loan) was the problem, come up with solutions.  It’s more involved than that and until being unemployed I was never late with a payment.  I did, however, tend to overdrawn my checking account on occasion or be low enough that I had to wait until the next paycheck before doing whatever.

This time I’m just broke.  And even the help I’m getting and which I have to pay back (with interest to my parents at least) isn’t enough.  It doesn’t help that rent went up $15 and not the $10 I had thought.and now I’m really short.  So now I’m trying to find money.  Up until Saturday when my friends lent me money for groceries I was running out of food.  And toilet paper, which is a definitely necessity as you all know.

But Thursday night was a really bad night for me.  Really bad. In tears bad.  Eventually I ended up researching and figure looking at applying for food stamps.  That will help even if it’s only a little.  And I may go to St. Vincent de Paul which is a Catholic ministry that helps feed people along with other forms of assistance.

And my (undiagnosed) IBS is acting up.  I woke up this morning in pain.  Except  I was not missing Mass for a second week in a row.  So heating pad and finished off the one bottle of Pepto and started the other.  I was fine enough for Mass though I wasn’t so sure on the drive there.  I was invited over to my friends but chose not to go which was good because I ended up sick and in pain again.  Actually, I’m on my third round and I’m not sure what set off this round.  Figured out the first two but this one is unknown except that maybe my digestive system just there in the towel.  Who knows.  Not painful but not pleasant either.

Oh well, off to deal with rumbly tummy and finish off a book.  I still haven’t figured out whodunit.

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