Destabilized

So writing that post earlier screwed up my sleep, more than usual.  I had barely an hour before I was supposed to get up to get ready for Mass and decided that I wasn’t going to drive on such little sleep.  I finally fall asleep hoping to wake up in time to go to Confession … Continue reading Destabilized

Rules and Stability

Even though it’s 4:35 on a Sunday morning and should be sleeping, I feel more pressed to write. Rules matter, especially to someone like me who needs boundaries that will be respected since mine rarely were.  I like rules.  Not too many or overly strict, impossible ones but good, clear rules that work.  Not just … Continue reading Rules and Stability

Finding the Same

Or the shame. This time though, it’s about how I have emotional and physical reactions like I do with my mother. I’ve come to realize this one person in my life hits several of the same triggers, even some triggers I didn’t know I had.  But mostly it comes down to after spending even a … Continue reading Finding the Same

Poems

Tears Again Definite tears This time it’s because you are so low on food that you are hungry but you probably won’t have money for another week, you feel ashamed and judged by the charity people who probably aren’t judging you but you are judging yourself so it doesn’t matter, and a friend that seems … Continue reading Poems

Being Forgotten

I’m seven Another Friday afternoon Going to the office, having to call you, again, to come pick me up, pick up S You say, voice distant on the telephone and not because of actual distance, that you didn’t forget, sounding airy and yet dismissive of me stating the facts The secretary listening in but not … Continue reading Being Forgotten

The Library Made Me Do It

Well, only because I signed up for the Summer Reading Program.  Yes, my public library is awesome enough to have summer reading programs for every age. The theme is Literary Elements and you have a card with various genres that you have to read.  Twenty some odd books (24 including an online resource and the … Continue reading The Library Made Me Do It