Is It Really a Friendship?

More and more I think not.  And after reading a post on Elizabeth Esther’s blog, it’s a “friendship” I really need to drop.

But I can’t.  I still need to make the cookbook for her daughter as her wedding present.  I’ve told people what I want; now I’m just waiting for recipes to come in.  So at least two more months.  Because I need stuff from her and her husband, not the daughter.

But then what about Mass? We attend the same parish going to the same Mass.  I’ve already switched parishes before but not due to major issues.  (I honestly didn’t fit in the previous parish because I didn’t have money, I am a single woman, I don’t have any family in the parish, and I’m not somebody.)

So I have to continue to be friends with a narcissist.  The woman pisses me off.  I’m still afraid of talking to her because honestly, nothing will change.  If she tells me she is going to call me, even on a specific day and time, I can guarantee that she will not call.  If she makes plans with me, I can guarantee that they will be broken because some last minute fancy came up and she will have chosen that over me.  And it’s not forgetfulness.  She doesn’t care or respect me very much if at all.

I figured out she hits a lot of the elements of a narcissist last night in the shower.  But then I also think: Am I making this up? Am I seeing things that are not there?  The half day headaches are real.  The tears and emotional upset are real.  The anger is real.  But is it?   I just don’t know and yet know this can’t keep going on. 

I know I’m bad at making friends.  But in a way, I didn’t really choose her as a friend.  She came up to me and basically sucked me in without me being aware of what she was doing until too late.

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