After the last few posts, I am going to be banning myself from posting about spanking, my own abuse history, and my mental health for a while. Those last few posts have messed with my head and I need time and space from them. While not major triggers, they are triggers.
Besides, I have a major project to work on (cookbook), books to read, and a job to find. Negative thoughts and harping on the negative and dwelling is a waste of my time.
And with it getting darker earlier and longer and me without medication, I don’t want to trigger an episode of my depression. I am now going on ten months with medication. I think the walks I have been taking have helped. But yeah, no negativity. It screws me up. Right now I want to punish myself really bad and intellectually I know I shouldn’t but emotionally, punishment will make things right. Put things back in order.