Archive for November, 2014

Holidays As Hammers

So I will be spending Thanksgiving on my own tomorrow.  And I’ve been largely numb all week because of it.  I’ve been thrown away again.

The friend that I thought might invite me to Thanksgiving dinner just brushed me off Sunday by telling me she would be working that day and so there wasn’t anything planned.  The way she said  it so carelessly as  if it was  nothing at all, that my feelings didn’t matter, which they don’t to her.  It was all about her.  And I know she always takes that day off so I feel lied to even if she is working. But honestly I knew that was going to happen.  I knew she was going to cut me out and toss me away.  I just don’t entertain her anymore especially since I’ve said no to her and nobody gets to say that but her.

So this week has been a bad week for me.  I’ve been numb and just w anting to sleep all the time.  I have no appetite except to emotionally eat (I finished a bag of mini Oreos in less than 24 hours).  So a really bad week.  I hate anything that puts an emphasis on loving friends and family when I don’t have run and society blames me for it because it’s all my fault people are jerks and screw me over.


I’ve Applied

Finished the one job application.  So now waiting to hear back.

Also, parents are giving me money tomorrow to pay bills so that is also one less worry.

I’m going to look for more seasonal work if only because I know they’re hiring right now and it will be a good foot back in the door employment wise. It’s not my dream job but it will help pay the bills and boost my self esteem as well.  That’s been my biggest issue: fear of rejection especially in light of what happened with evil security company.  And being unemployed for so long.  If I have a job, I’ll feel better about finding a better job.

I still don’t know what I’m doing for Thanksgiving though.  If I end up with no invitation and/or not working, I’ll have to make my own tradition.  However, I’m not making a whole turkey for myself.  And my fridge is just too small for one.  I’ll figure it out.

Half Over

Sorry, meant to post sooner but between the stupid cold, probably blowing out my right ear drum, my mental health tanking, and pressing financial issues I just haven’t had the energy to write.  At least I’m healthy again.

I hate this time of year because it is hard emotionally.  I never have a good time with holidays.  So this part of the year is depressing, starting about mid October and lasting until the end of February/beginning of March.  Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, my birthday were not good days growing up.  That’s lasted well into my adult years.  When I was on medication, I was able to weather these days and seasons much better.  But unemployed and without health insurance means no meds so bad times for me.  Add in the issues with the one friend, which doesn’t help either. 

And this year, no one has invited me over for Thanksgiving. The friend that did last year, the one I’m having issues with, is barely talking to me.  I bet she won’t remember until after, if she does.

At least I have a lead on a job.  It’s season retail but it’s a job and will be good for my resume especially with the year and a half gap since leaving evil security company.  I really need the money.  At this point it’s so bad that I can’t drive anywhere because I need gas but literally have no money. 

I’m still looking for recipes for the cookbook I’m putting together and want them by Saturday.  Though I figure at this point the cookbook isn’t going to be ready for Christmas which sucks but it is what it is.

Food Glorious Food

Now that I’ve made you hungry…


So I’m putting together a cookbook as a wedding present.  I had requested recipes from the guests at the bridal shower back in September and asked to receive them along with photos by Halloween.  Since I have received nothing I’m reaching out to my followers, readers, people who randomly come by my blog for recipes, food quotes and/or quotes about food, food stories, or any combination there of.  If you have a recipe you swear by, send it. Favorite recipes, hated recipes, recipes you want to try.  Photos of food (just make sure to watermark them as yours) especially of your recipe are totally welcome. 

I would love recipes by November 22.  Just leave a comment with the recipe/quite/story/photo or leave me a valid email address to contact you privately.

Thank you.

Don’t worry.  I’ll share the recipes so everyone can join in.

Sorry, Be Back Soon

Sorry I  haven’t posted lately.  I’ve come down with a cold that’s left me tired and grouchy and no energy to do anything. And all without cold medicine as well though comparing to past colds medicine wouldn’t make much of a difference.  At least this one isn’t a stress cold. So more fluids and rest for me.  I’ll be back soon.


Type this later, if I remember.

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