A color. The color of depression for some. I tend toward black or no color at all.
I spent last week in the worst depression yet. I was so numb, so lifeless that I could barely eat. It’s never been that bad for me. This past week was until Saturday night/Sunday morning when I could not sleep at all so was up nearly thirty hours. Nearly did it again Monday, Tuesday but caught a nap which sort of helped but also made things worse. I had a pretty decent day up till I went shopping. I thought my week was getting better. Nope.
Apparently shopping yesterday (I really needed a new pair of jeans), was just too much. I was only an hour or a little more than but I was drained and overwhelmed. I had to sit in my car, in the quiet, for twenty minutes. A quick to trip to the grocery store and I was out maybe two hours. But those were two overwhelming and exhausting hours. So bad that I slept fourteen hours today and didn’t get up until after 4.
At least I didn’t have plans but I didn’t realize that yesterday was going to be so much. I’ve always disliked shopping but now it’s pretty close to hate. It was just too much. It’s not so bad when I know what I need and can get it quickly. I can be in and out. And I only go shopping when I absolutely have to. So I will never be someone who shops for pleasure. It’s just too much and I’m overwhelmed.