Blue

A color.  The color of depression for some.  I tend toward black or no color at all.

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I spent last week in the worst depression yet.  I was so numb, so lifeless that I could barely eat.  It’s never been that bad for me.  This past week was until Saturday night/Sunday morning when I could not sleep at all so was up nearly thirty hours.  Nearly did it again Monday, Tuesday but caught a nap which sort of helped but also made things worse. I had a pretty decent day up till I went shopping.  I thought my week was getting better. Nope.

Apparently shopping yesterday (I really needed a new pair of jeans), was just too much.  I was only an hour or a little more than but I was drained and overwhelmed.  I had to sit in my car, in the quiet, for twenty minutes.  A quick to trip to the grocery store and I was out maybe two hours.  But those were two overwhelming and exhausting hours.  So bad that I slept fourteen hours today and didn’t get up until after 4. 

At least I didn’t have plans but I didn’t realize that yesterday was going to be so much.  I’ve always disliked shopping but now it’s pretty close to hate. It was just too much.  It’s not so bad when I know what I need and can get it quickly.  I can be in and out.  And I only go shopping when I absolutely have to.  So I will never be someone who shops for pleasure.  It’s just too much and I’m overwhelmed.

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