I’m Still Here

Sorry I haven’t posted in over two months. The last couple of weeks have been not fun for me. My depression has set in and getting out of bed is a struggle.  Heavens, I didn’t even go to Adoration this morning due to upset stomach and no desire to get out of bed. 

Even when I do get out of bed, I end up on the couch just sitting there. Reading has been hard. Getting out of the apartment is hard.  Just doing normal stuff is hard. Heck, I’m so tired that when I do get up during the day I end up taking a three hour nap which then screws up my sleep even more.

I sleep during the day and am up at night, which is when I feel like doing things but at 3 am you can’t do much because everything is closed and everyone is asleep.

I wish I was working.  That would help with getting out of bed everyday. And I would have money to pay the bills. I may be losing my food stamps next month due to new rules so I’m worried over that.  And I’m worried that any job that I do find will not be what I wanted, that it won’t pay enough, that I won’t have the health benefits I need, that it will prove how stupid and useless I really am.

And I’m always on the verge of tears or in tears.

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Type this later, if I remember.

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