Archive for June, 2016

Abortion Is A Tool Of Patriarchy

Abortion does not give women freedom over their sexuality or their bodies. Abortion just further enslaves women to Patriarchy and men. Abortion allows men to control women’s bodies and turn them into male bodies for their sexual pleasure. The male body is elevated through abortion. Abortion suppresses the female body and its inherent value.  Abortion allows men to destroy the one creative element that women contain in their sexuality that allows them to generate new life, to build and create civilization. Only women can truly create new life. Men can only participate partially in creating a new life.

Patriarchy loves abortion because it means they can have sex with women without consequences.  If the woman gets pregnant, she can just have an abortion. Patriarchy doesn’t want to be responsible for a child so abortion allows them to have consequence free sex and force women to bear the brunt of men’s sexual activities. The child would be proof of the man having sexual relations and an abortion removes that proof. Abortion allows a man to hide and cover up his “indiscretions” while forcing a woman to suffer the consequences of same. His body is safe and can continue to engage in sexual activities while the woman has to put her body through a “procedure” that kills one person and may easily kill her. And if it does kill her, her death matters not and definitely will not be seen as a result of getting an abortion. And definitely will not be reported as a result of an abortion.  Deaths caused by abortions are the one cause of death in this country that is legally allowed to be covered up and ignored and never investigated. How fair is that to the women who die due to abortion? Their families mourning the losses of not only their daughter, wife, mother, sister but another family member they will never get to meet? To love.

Women’s sexuality is forced into the service of men with abortion. Abortion allows men to dictate how a woman views her body.  Abortion allows men to control and oppress women’s bodies all in service of his sexual urges.  With abortion, a man can have sex with any woman he wants.  Consent becomes irrelevant because the woman has given away her consent and rights when she supports and/or gets an abortion.  Through abortion, patriarchy has convinced women of the lie that they now have control over their bodies and their sexual activities.  Women do not.  Not with abortion. Patriarchy, through abortion and birth control, have gained further control of women and women have permitted this, thinking they have gained freedom when in reality they have become further enmeshed and oppressed. Men get to keep using women as sexual objects and women encourage this by supporting this and willingly turning themselves into sexual objects because they believe this makes them free. 


The Phone Is Dead (Again) Long Live The New Phone

Yes,  I had to get a new phone.  Again.  Went to the phone store and showed what my phone did.  They were impressed and amazed and they had never heard my problem before. They even saw it happen with their own eyes.  So we tried a factory reset. Yeah,  that was even funnier. My phone was under warranty so I just upgraded. Not what I had planned but I kind of figured. Let’s see how long this one lasts before something pops up.

One Of Those Days

So I never did hear from the bureaucracy. I waited all day.  I’ll deal with it on Monday, maybe.  But with how many times I’ve dealt with them in the last few months and they said they would call, all of this is on them. 

I did call the phone company to try and fix my phone.  Calls from someone in my contacts are fine.  Calls from unknown numbers screw up my phone. Hell, the phone company couldn’t call me after I called them, tried to follow the emails they sent me, and had someone call me. I’m going to try to the store tomorrow.  Hopefully, that goes better than this.  I may have to do a reset. Tried to wipe the cache partition  but the instructions I had didn’t work. And I tried many, many, many times.

I talked to my baby sister (hey, I’m the oldest, I can call her anything I want) and found out the reason my mother has decided to cut me off is because my stupid man chasing sister S broke up with her boyfriend that she was living with in Idaho (after breaking up with the New York boyfriend she was living with before) and moved back in with my parents that live in Kansas. And since S is my mother’s favorite, she’s getting the monetary benefit without having to look for work or take responsibility for her actions and behaviors.  Not that S ever has. She’s gotten away with near murder all of her life due to being my mother’s favorite.  Unfortunately, I ended up crying while talking to my sister and explaining why I was having a bad day. And also unfortunately, she passed that on to my mother who texted me again. So I had to deal with her again.

Money has always been an issue that causes me anxiety.  It always has. We weren’t poor growing up. My dad had a really good job with really good benefits. My mother did hate spending money on me and I can recall several incidents growing up where she manipulated me into choosing some trivial item over a necessary item. There were also a lot years where my clothes came from thrift stores while my sisters got all new stuff from from really nice stores.  And I knew at Christmas not to ask for anything I really wanted because I wouldn’t get it or my sister S would get it with my mother rubbing it in my face.  There was the Christmas that my grandmother and her second husband gave my sisters actual presents but gave me soap, then told me I had to pay for the soap, and then took the soap away. My sisters got to keep their presents.  I was told I was ungrateful and that I was going to hell. Then there was the time I was homeless and living out of my car.  Or the times I was behind on student loans (I’ve made my displeasure with the evil student loan company known on this blog before) and had to deal with constant phone calls to collect money I didn’t have because I’d been fired by evil security company. So yeah, money has been an issue for a good portion of my life.

Such Lovely Bureaucracy

Apparently, I’m not meant to get food stamps for another year. The interview didn’t happen. I even waited an extra half hour but no phone call. I’m tired of dealing with the state bureaucracy that is already under investigation for so many things and for so many screw ups.

Then my mother texts me to tell me that I really need to get a job soon because they aren’t going to help me too much longer. I’m honestly trying to find work but once I apply it’s not on me but the company to follow up and decide to interview and hire.

So yes, I’m in tears right having to worry about food and money.  I must have done something bad to deserve all this happening at once.


I get to deal with state bureaucracy again tomorrow. It’s time to reapply for food stamps and the interview is tomorrow morning. It’s a phone interview. And since the update to my phone’s operating system I’ve had issues with receiving calls. If I answer the phone on the first ring, I’m okay.  After that first ring and the phone restarts. I kind of wish I hadn’t done the update.

As much as I don’t want to be on food stamps, it’s the only way I can afford food right now until I find another job. And yes, I’m a bit nervous about the interview especially after I saw how much I had left for this month (I can eat but I didn’t realize that I had spent what I had). Even though the amount I have left has nothing to do with the interview.

I know I’m still out of whack from last week. I didn’t make it to Adoration this morning, again. And I have to fix my sleep schedule again after the job wrecked it again.  I feel off kilter and that things are slipping away from me even though they aren’t.

Well, That’s That

I’m home earlier from the temp job. Between the back pain, knee pain and whatever happened to two of the fingers of my right hand, I went home early. I was stretching out the back muscles and apparently that’s not something you’re supposed to do so I was told to go home which was fine by me.  I’m surprised that more people aren’t hurt because I didn’t see anybody doing anything to prevent repetitive motion injuries.  The job was almost all repetitive motion that could injury.  And it was pretty disorganized.  I’m not sure how anything gets done because nobody knows anything.  This was just not a good job.

The schedule didn’t help either. My insomnia was at its worst and I can’t survive on little sleep for long.  That’s when I end up in tears like I did at work yesterday and as I drove home today.  And it doesn’t help my depression, especially since I didn’t know exactly when I was finishing my shift. 

But I do have that interview Monday so that’s a step in the right direction. And I have to deal with state bureaucracy again since there’s some snafu that keeps losing my paperwork.  But the bad neighbor is finally gone. At least that’s some good news.

Some Good News

I already have an interview for another job on Monday.  I have to do some research for it (it’s been awhile since I applied) but it’s much better than the job I’m working this week.  I’ve been rather blessed with all the call backs and interviews lately. I just hope it means I can find the job that fits and will work out the best for all involved.

I made it through day two.  My back is currently on strike.  I can barely bend because all the muscles are so stiff and painful.  And I’ve got a rash on my neck from the protective coat I have to wear.  Yes, I’m complaining.  I never want to see another box again. Or rolls of packing tape. Or pallets.  Only two more days.  At least, I didn’t cry at work.  But it’s still mind numbing.


Type this later, if I remember.

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