One Of Those Days

So I never did hear from the bureaucracy. I waited all day.  I’ll deal with it on Monday, maybe.  But with how many times I’ve dealt with them in the last few months and they said they would call, all of this is on them. 

I did call the phone company to try and fix my phone.  Calls from someone in my contacts are fine.  Calls from unknown numbers screw up my phone. Hell, the phone company couldn’t call me after I called them, tried to follow the emails they sent me, and had someone call me. I’m going to try to the store tomorrow.  Hopefully, that goes better than this.  I may have to do a reset. Tried to wipe the cache partition  but the instructions I had didn’t work. And I tried many, many, many times.

I talked to my baby sister (hey, I’m the oldest, I can call her anything I want) and found out the reason my mother has decided to cut me off is because my stupid man chasing sister S broke up with her boyfriend that she was living with in Idaho (after breaking up with the New York boyfriend she was living with before) and moved back in with my parents that live in Kansas. And since S is my mother’s favorite, she’s getting the monetary benefit without having to look for work or take responsibility for her actions and behaviors.  Not that S ever has. She’s gotten away with near murder all of her life due to being my mother’s favorite.  Unfortunately, I ended up crying while talking to my sister and explaining why I was having a bad day. And also unfortunately, she passed that on to my mother who texted me again. So I had to deal with her again.

Money has always been an issue that causes me anxiety.  It always has. We weren’t poor growing up. My dad had a really good job with really good benefits. My mother did hate spending money on me and I can recall several incidents growing up where she manipulated me into choosing some trivial item over a necessary item. There were also a lot years where my clothes came from thrift stores while my sisters got all new stuff from from really nice stores.  And I knew at Christmas not to ask for anything I really wanted because I wouldn’t get it or my sister S would get it with my mother rubbing it in my face.  There was the Christmas that my grandmother and her second husband gave my sisters actual presents but gave me soap, then told me I had to pay for the soap, and then took the soap away. My sisters got to keep their presents.  I was told I was ungrateful and that I was going to hell. Then there was the time I was homeless and living out of my car.  Or the times I was behind on student loans (I’ve made my displeasure with the evil student loan company known on this blog before) and had to deal with constant phone calls to collect money I didn’t have because I’d been fired by evil security company. So yeah, money has been an issue for a good portion of my life.

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