Remember That New Medication…

Yeah.  Didn’t work so well.  Made me sleep 12-14 hours a day. It also made me want to hide in bed all day. So I stopped taking it yesterday. And those were unexpected side effects. I emailed the doctor that I stopped taking it and the reasons why. We’ll see what happens.

Of course, my anxiety has gone up lately. I found out last Thursday (from Mr Drug Dealer himself) that he is schizophrenic and bipolar. And he’s not on any medication but he does take street drugs (aka illegal drugs).  I also got to hear his lovely delusions about his previous apartment and how the newspapers and TV news programs were going to expose “the truth” very soon.  He also keeps changing his story about who helps him and about all his “friends” that keep pounding on his door at all hours.  He also said that a girl screaming (for help) is no reason to call the cops. (I don’t know why the woman screamed which I didn’t hear but there was more going on that night than a scream and whomever called the police was right in doing so.)  I’m afraid to open my door anymore because I don’t knew who might be out there and if they might be dangerous to me or not.

I had a panic attack earlier today.  I know part of it stemmed from the library volunteer party Saturday night (I hadn’t been around that many people in a social setting in a very long time) and I was freaking out over what I said (I was fine but I always freak out over social situations) even though I didn’t say anything stupid. But I spent several minutes before my volunteer shift sitting in my car working on calming myself down because the library is totally not a scary place nor are the librarians.  I was able to calm myself down and was fine for my shift.  Then I went grocery shopping (I bought more than I planned but I should be fine for like two weeks now) and as I was driving home I realized I didn’t want to go home because Mr Drug Dealer is still my neighbor and I don’t want to have to deal with him at all.

I swear the quality of the tenants in this place has gone down. More are on some kind of public assistance or have a mental illness (oddly enough I’m not talking about myself though I could be included though I actually seek help and treatment) or substance abuse problems/addictions.  There seem to be more issues or at least talk about drugs/drug use in regards to tenants. Mind you, there are several children living in the complex, many under the age of ten.  I don’t want drugs anywhere near children. I don’t want them anywhere near this apartment either.

I would like to move but can’t afford to st this time, especially not without a job.

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