Sorry I’ve been away. I just have no interest in things. And no energy
The Welbutrin didn’t help or hurt so the doc put me on Lexapro. Two big side effects : increased anxiety and screwed up sleep. Not fun. I told the doc if this one didn’t work then I want to be off meds because this is the forth (4th) medication I’ve tried and doesn’t seem to be working. I called for counseling but there was no availability.
I have been making it to Mass every week so that helps (even if I was late this past Sunday).
Still working on finding a job. I need one soon. The woman in charge of the paperwork part of the food benefits program does not like me. Dealing with her drives my anxiety up so I avoid dealing with her as much as possible. She keeps changing the rules about what I have to do and what I can include on the paperwork (no interviews unless I physically walk to at least five separate businesses and physically fill out an application on site and then interview). She’s also given me really bad advice about how to interview (she wants me to bad mouth my previous employer when you are never supposed to do that and to make myself look like a horrible candidate by bringing up immaterial stuff from previous jobs i.e. say that I got written up when I was working for evil security company). I want to leave evil security company in the past. I’ll talk about why I was let go but I won’t bad mouth the company. (Just thinking about evil security company is activating my anxiety; that place was majorly anxiety inducing towards the end).
Still volunteering at the library and still very mildly frustrated that people can’t remember the alphabet when reshelving books. I like working there but the are times when I want to go up to random patrons and have then recite the alphabet. I don’t but occasionally I feel like it.