Posts Tagged 'children'

Trolling for Kids

Apparently, pointing out how “gay marriage” can potentially hurt children makes me a bigot.  Because name calling *so proves* the same sex parents are “better” at being parents than opposite sex parents.  Sorry, no it doesn’t.

Science has proven time and again that children thrive much better in a home where their mother and father are married to each other.  There is currently no evidence that supports same sex parents being the same as opposite sex parents.  The studies that have been done are too few, too small, and the sampling too self selective. 

I do not hate gays or any one suffering from same sex attraction. I’ve had friends who were gay. They have a heavy burden to bear.  But they have been deceived and lied to about living the homosexual lifestyle and it’s effects on themselves and others.  Children should not be brought into this mess. 

So what if their same sex parents love the children?  Parenting and being good parents is more than just “love”.  But too many people, of all stripes, think love will fix anything and everything.  No, it won’t. Children are abused all the time because their parents “love” them but they are still being abused.  Love is an excuse here and hurts everyone.

Homosexuals need help, not hate. 

They, themselves, are not the issue.  Their sexual acts, their attempt to redefine marriage, and their agitation for “rights” are the problems.  Homosexual people are made in the image and likeness of God.  Same sex attraction is an effect of sin that entered the world at The Fall when Adam disobeyed God and ate of the tree of knowledge. Same sex orientation is a deviance.  It has no evolutionary benefit though the people who suffer from it are not, in any way, at fault from suffering from same sex attraction.

So, my pointing out the problems of “gay marriage” and adding children into the mix does not make me a bigot,  a hater, or a homophobe.  It makes me concerned about all involved.  As someone who has been abused, I choose to speak out against abuse and potential abuse.  I choose to speak for children who cannot or are prevented from speaking for themselves.  I choose to a voice for the voiceless and those who have their voices silenced.  I also stand up for the teachings of the Catholic Church on family and marriage  because they are the best teachings and protect men, women, and children from abuse and violence.

And since I forgot this in my previous post, children born from artificial means are still children worthy of love, protection, dignity, and respect.  Their parents’ decision are not theirs and do not reflect on the personhood of the child.  Children born from these means should not be considered wrong or bad.  They are just children.  Their parents’ decision to use artificial means of procreation is wrong but the children are never wrong.

*insert sarcasm*

Yes, The Children

Yesterday’s post garnered quite a lot of attention.  And it brought out the comment trolls.  Policy is still enforced.

There was a point that I didn’t make yesterday and applies not just to gays and children but society’s view of children in general. 

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Children have become a possession instead of the people they actually are.  Children are treated as things to collect.  Like dolls you can dress up, feed, play with them but if they don’t meet adults impossible standards or the adults grow tired of them the children are abused, thrown away, rehomed,  or even killed.  I thought the increase in child abuse reports had to do with better reporting and tracking.  Yes and no.  There is better reporting but also, more parents are hurting their children. 

There has been a shift in how society sees children.  On one level, they have become people worthy of rights and protection.  Overall, though, children are much more likely to be seen and considered possessions, toys, objects to show off to others.  They don’t exist as people with needs and wants of their own. 

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So children become pawns, objects in a game.  Especially when the adult considers their rights more important than anybody else’s.  “Gay marriage” places gays’ sexual orientation and acts above the protection of children.  Homosexuals who “marry” and then “have”  children are using those children to play at marriage and family.  Their “gay marriage” and “family” is entirely artificial.  It comes from forcing mismatched pieces together to make something they were not meant to make or go together.

And while it can happen in heterosexual marriages, children are a natural part and result of the marriage.  Yes, the couple may use artificial means to have children (IVF, surrogacy, sperm donors, etc.) but these methods are still wrong and force a children conceived by one of these means to be a possession.  They “create” a child in the lab instead of through the natural means of sexual intercourse.  And most of those artificial methods have a high failure rate and are expensive.

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Heterosexual marriage is the best family for children.  They get a mother and father who create them in love and raise them in a stable environment that is protective and nurturing.  The children are people in this family rather than objects of possession. 

Yes, abuse is possible but it is much, much less likely to happen than in any other “family” makeup.  The instant a child loses a parent instability and insecurity sets in.  No matter if the child gains another parent through a parent’s new marriage or the parent stays single or the parent chooses to be in a homosexual relationship, the child loses.  Even if the child has been removed from an abusive home, the child knows that it needs and wants a mother and a father.  Artificial means of procreation tells the child that the adult’s desires are more important than the child’s needs and that the child is like an object bought at the store instead of the child lovingly created through an act of love and unity.

Children know.  They are people, too, and that is a fact that we ignore, deny, and cover up to our own and their peril.  Children, once they figure out that they are supposed to have a mother and father, feel lost and ashamed for not having what they expect.  They feel that it is their fault that they do not have whichever parent is missing from their lives and so determine that they are unimportant and worthless as people.  If they feel they are there just to serve the adults’ selfish needs and wants, they are being abused and their rights to care, love and protection violated.

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I think hearing from two gay men on how they view all this is important.  When they stand up for the family, it’s a big deal.

In an interview with the Italian magazine Panorama, designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana of Dolce & Gabbana had some contentious things to say about same-sex families.

According to translations, the pair — who dated for 23 years and broke up in 2005 — stated that children born through IVF are “children of chemistry, synthetic children. Uteruses for rent, semen chosen from a catalog.”

“I am gay, I cannot have a child. I guess you cannot have everything in life,” Dolce added. “Life has a natural course, some things cannot be changed. One is the family.”

What About The Children?

“Gay marriage ” does not protect children.  It abuses them.  “Gay marriage” provides a “legally” promoted structure that hurts children in every way.  In “gay marriage”, children are property and objects to be taken from their parents and raised in an environment that is oriented towards the adults selfish sexual gratification.  Children lose their God given humanity and right to be raised and loved by a mother and a father who are married to each other when they are raised by “gay parents” in a “gay marriage”. 

Marriage, properly understood, has as its end, the holiness of the spouses and the creation and raising of children.

“Gay marriage” can do neither.  Two lesbians cannot conceive a child through their sexual acts nor can to gay men.  They must take children from their true parents or force a woman to give up her natural child so that the child is forced into a most unnatural environment. That child is deprived of its natural parents and forced to have parents who selected it as if they had gone down to Ikea and picked out a new sofa.  Even children whose families started out normal with mom and dad are forced into accepting a parent’s unnatural living arrangements when one parent chooses to divorce and live in a gay relationship.

So “gay marriage” does not benefit children in any way.  Governments and religions have always understood that marriage is about children and the protection of the family and the future of civilization.  “Gay marriage” destroys all three because it is a selfish adult act that is only oriented towards the adults.

You say, what about children adopted by gays who never would have been adopted otherwise?   Honestly, those children would still have been adopted by a loving couple with a husband and wife who would love them as children and raise them into adulthood.  They would learn how to be men and women from their father AND mother. 

Gay parents are absent a parent.  Children in that situation have only one “parent” a mother or a father.  Having two mothers ot two fathers is much like being raised by a single parent and not good for the child.  A child suffers with only one parent and studies have proven that being raised by a single parent has a detrimental effect on the child’s education, physical, emotional, and psychological health.  Children do much better in a family with both a mother and a father, which science has proven time and again.

As for the studies that “prove” gay parents are on the same level as opposite sex parents, those studies have very poor methodology, very limited sampling, and the studies themselves were improperly designed with the deliberate aim that they would “prove” gay parents were on par or better than opposite sex parents. 

So the science supports opposite sex parenting as being extremely beneficial for children while same sex parenting has no scientific support and preliminary research shows that same sex parenting is the same as single parenting or worse.

Dad Delivers Perfect Response to Kindergarten Dress-Shaming His Little Girl: Read His Viral Letter

Remember, it’s always the girl’s fault.   Dress shaming a child all in the name of purity and modesty.  Being female apparently gives license to men and authorities to hurt us ladies and excuse it under the excuse of “protection.”  I call BS. (I get the reason for dress codes but a five year old child isn’t capable of dressing for sexual reasons.  But this is ridiculous.)

http://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/dad-delivers-perfect-response-kindergarten-dress-shaming-little-204000273-us-weekly.html
Move over, Kindergarten Cop! A Houston dad, Jef Rouner, called out his 5-year-old daughter’s school district after her kindergarten class shamed the little girl for wearing a spaghetti-strap dress. “I’m not surprised to see the dress code shaming come into my house,” Rouner wrote.

Quiverfull and Childhood

Part Three

Warning: I will be talking about various types of abuse in this post and have inserted photos where appropriate.  Be advised.

This post builds off the discussion from Part Two.  I mentioned previously that many girls are forced to raise their younger siblings because their mothers just don’t parent.  Or in the case of Michele Duggar, passes the responsibility of parenting to a daughter so that she can keep having babies.

Since Quiverfull is focused on babies and numbers, children as individuals with needs are in an odd phase.  They aren’t babies and they aren’t married adults.  These two phases are the only ones that matter in Quiverfull.  That’s where the priorities are focused. 

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Courtesy of Google Images

Children are then ignored until they get noticed.  The phase of childhood itself is ignored until someone notices a child acting (as in any sort of movement, not just bad or irresponsible behavior) or speaking.  The phase of childhood is considered a messy wasteland to be conquered by the parents rather than enjoyed as a season of human life. 

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Courtesy of Google Images

First, children are just numbers, not actual individuals with wants and needs and desires. They are soldiers in a battles against the secular world.

Two, children are considered property of their parents.  The parents have rights.  The children do not.  The children are merely objects to manipulate.

Three, children are seen as inherently sin filled and willingly disobedient.  Children are only capable of sin and incapable of virtue. 

Four, children must be homeschooled because any other sort of schooling is un-biblical, full of dangerous anti-Christian agendas, and a means of government interference.

Fifth, children rarely receive medical assistance in any form.due to paranoia about the government and beliefs that any healing is God’s will and can only happen if He desires it.

While there are more, these are a good starting place.

Point One: Children are individuals but not in Quiverfull.  Quiverfull is a movement that emphasizes numbers of people and not actual people.  Add in the distaste for childhood as a phase of life and things get a lot worse.

Points Two and Three go together.   When children are not seen as people, they have no rights or protections.  They are also open to great abuses, neglect, violence, and even homicide.  Since many parents come to believe that corporal punishment and spanking are acceptable means of forcing a child to comply with their demands, many children are physically abused in the name of love and God.  Many use verses out of the Book of Proverbs to justify their spanking.  They also read and endorse abusive parenting methods like Michael Pearl’s To Train Up A Child (which compares training children to training animals and to start spanking at three months), James Dobson (again comparing children to dogs), Rev Bradley, and Shepherd a Child’s Heart.

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Courtesy of Google Images

There is no biblical basis for beating the sin out of children so that they become God fearing adults.  But it is a belief espoused in Pearl’s and heavily hinted at in Gothard’s work (though I don’t know if he advocated corporal punishment). 

Pearl advocated “first time obedience” and demands it of babies.  “First time obedience” is the expectation that when an adult tells a child to do something that child must obey immediately.  Any hesitation, finishing a task already started, or asking for directions on how to do that something is seen as disobedience and must be punished immediately. 

For example: a thirteen month old baby is sitting on the floor, playing with a toy.  He puts the toy in his mouth (babies like to put things in their mouth; this is normal).  The mother sees this and tells the baby to take the toy out of his mouth.  The baby keeps the toy in his mouth because he doesn’t really understand what his mother is saying.  However, Pearl says the child is actively choosing to be disobedient and therefore needs to be spanked right this minute.

But first time obedience is expected of all children.  And being disobedient or even “rebellious” (a vague term that parents use to justify any spanking or to justify their anger and their desire to hit a child). Spanking then becomes the default method of parenting instead of teaching the child why let alone understanding child development in any way.

Children in Quiverfull face lots of violence, abuse, neglect, and are forced to behave in developmentally inappropriate ways. 

Teenage girls are expected to parent their younger siblings. 

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Courtesy of Google Images

Many children face the threat of corporal punishment which I’ve expanded to include not just spanking but any use of hitting as punishment which includes slapping, punching, using some type of implement. 

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Courtesy of Google Images

Many children are verbally abused through threats of corporal punishment regardless if those threats are carried out, through name calling, through insults, and through intimidation. 

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Courtesy of Google Images

Children are sexually abused not just through molestation and rape but also abused through body shaming, purity culture, and dress codes. 

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Courtesy of Google Images

Children are psychologically abused when parents threaten them, manipulate situations so that a child fails expectations,  play mind games, and through gaslighting.

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Children are spiritually abused because they are raised to follow an extreme belief system, are threatened with an angry, vengeful God that is out to get them and can’t wait to see them fail, and through the use of illegal and immoral tactics that are justified by the use of scripture verses.

Children are educationally neglected through the use of homeschooling.  Many parents use homeschooling as a means of isolating their children from others so that the parents not only do not have to teach their children a standard education but so that many parents can abuse their children and not have others know about the abuse.  Many children who receive a homeschooling education are usually very deficient in many subject.  Some children are not allowed to finish or even graduate high school.  This is especially true for girls.

Children in Quiverfull are medically neglected.  Many children are born at home.  If there is a midwife involved, she may be unlicensed. Licensing and training depends on state statute so many midwives are trained and licensed.  But there are those midwives and other medical practitioners who choose to operate outside the medical establishment. And with a heavy distrust of the government, many followers of Quiverfull will actively seek out medical assistance that is not regulated by any government agency.   Vaccines are seen as government intrusion so many parents refuse to vaccinate their children.  Or beliefs false information about vaccines.  Many children rarely see a doctor. Reasons include: lack of parental finances; government intrusion; doctors are typically mandatory reporters of abuse (depends on state law); belief that sickness is merely uncompressed sin and so the child needs to repent and get right with God; the belief that any sickness can be cured by prayer.

Children raised in Quiverfull suffer the most and are given the least amount of help and support.  They may live in an unhealthy home due to abuse, neglect, inadequate shelter, inadequate food, inadequate clothing, and inadequate resources and support. 
These children are victims.  They spend many of their adult years healing from the abuse they suffered, correcting their education deficits, and shedding false and dangerous beliefs and behaviors.

A Fifth of The Library Made Me Do It

Summer reading program is almost over though I am finished completely.  The party was Wednesday night so it’s all done.  Don’t worry I’ll have more books to write about. 

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Two Novellas along a few short stories all set in Africa.  All told from the point of view of a child. Nairobi, Kenya at Christmas told through the eyes of a ten year old boy whose oldest sister (12) is a part-time prostitute to support the family.  A brother and sister who are sold into slavery by their uncle though they don’t now that until the very end.  A Muslim teen who is escaping his fellow Muslims even though he submitted to Sharia law and had his hand cut off for theft. Two six year old girls whose parents are divided by religion and belief.  Rwanda through the eyes of a girl who sees her own father kill her own mother because of Hutu-Tutsi violence.  A very excellent read.

A definite recommend

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Mystery with international intrigue and the archeological hunt for objects from the Second Temple in Jerusalem.  Between the theft of archeological artifacts, the deliberate destruction under the Temple Mound, the journey through Time, the flooding of the Coliseum this book keeps you on your toes.  There are a few minor historical inaccuracies but they aren’t that relevant and don’t detract.

A definite recommend

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How did we go from tribes to the governments we have today? And what are some of the elements necessary for a state to exist?  That’s what this book covers from Ancient China which developed bureaucracy before Christ but not a rule of law which plays an important part in stabilizing governments up to the French Revolution.  He does get a but repetitive but only to reinforce a point.  And he does admit in the beginning that he is biased which helped me to accept conclusions I didn’t and don’t agree with.  I do disagree with several elements he brought into the book but overall it was a decent read.

A recommend

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Let’s twist Southern history on it’s head and try to repeat it.  Read my review at http://pacboxbooks.wordpress.com under Forty Acres: A Review.

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The second Inspector Lynley novel.  It’s interesting to read the books after having seen the BBC series first (which I now want to watch again). This one involves the murder of a playwright in Scotland and Lynley is called in because the director is a fellow peer. This book has lots of twists and turns and has you guessing who done it till the end.

A definite recommend

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The first in the Rizzoli and Isles books though Isles isn’t in this one.  Well developed plot.  No unnecessary information.  The medical stuff is spot on but then the writer used to be a doctor.

Someone is killing young women in Boston and removing their uterus.  But this isn’t the first time this happened though those cases took place in another city.  And there’s a survivor.  Again, you don’t know who the killer is until the end but it’s interesting to get there.

A definite recommend

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The Maori version of Inspector Rebus.  I kid you not.  Excellent read though it takes a few pages to get going because you’re given relevant info in the beginning that won’t make sense until the end of the book.  Contract killer? That’s the stuff of movies but in this case it’s the truth and why Tito Ihaka was sent to the boonies when he refused to close the case of a wife hit by a car.

A definite recommend

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Poetry.  I read this on a whom wanting to expand my reading genres.  Interesting.

A recommend

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Yes, I’ve started reading more Y.A.  This is good light reading for me.  The characters are entertaining and the author has taken a page from Terry Pratchett and made.fairies, goblins, trolls, and the like characters with attitude, if not a lot of sense.

A definite recommend

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The third Inspector Lynley novel.  Murder of a student at a boarding school.  This one really points out the differences in social status of the students (rich, historical families) and how that plays a role.  There is a whole lot of backstory to the victim which is fascinating to watch develop and to see how that info ends up changing the color of the motive.

A definite recommend

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The first in the People of North America stories (though don’t necessarily have to be read in order).  This one deals with the migration of people over the Bering Straight into what is today Alaska.  Power struggles, war, love, spiritual battles all play a role.

A recommend

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The third novel in the series (library didn’t have the second).  It is funny that a Chicago gangster plays a part.  Artemis has created a computer made from fairy tech and it’s fallen into the wrong hands.  Now he has to get it back but he needs the help of his fairy friends.  Did I mention Butler, Artemis’s protector, has been fatally wounded?  This is more light reading for me and I enjoyed the book.

A definitely recommend

First Time

Reblogging that is.  My previous post on girls and the color pink is so apropos and so illustrative of the changes and the overwhelming influence consumer culture has on the development of boys and girls.  The US is the only country that permits unlimited advertising to children.  Children are bombarded will consumerist materialism and are flat out told that not buying into, celebrating, worshipping in that culture makes them not, well human.  And, no, I’m not being facetious or over the top.

Consumerist materialism invades everything from private choices to religious belief.  And yet there are no real choices.  It’s buy what is marketed to you or else.  Girls can only have girl products and boys can only have not products, the advertisers declare and there should be no sharing or touching or playing with that which is not for you.  Girls must stay confined to their arbitrated roles that have been set in stone by producers and any deviation must be shamed out of the girl.

Marketers say girls must only think about their physical appearance and wait to be rescued.  No intelligence allowed especially not in math or science.  Girls must worry about what others think and how they look, not on how to cure cancer or solve world hunger or spread the Gospel.

Yet, as much as advertisers and companies win they also lose.  So you have a girl for a few years but then she finds waiting around to be rescued boring so she’s off to save the galaxy herself from those stupid boys.  And black works so much better than pink in hiding from bad guys while waiting to go ninja all over them. 

But then girls become preteens and then teens and peer pressure tears its ugly head, all backed and egged on by advertisers and producers.  And now, the stakes are much higher. And the losses greater.  If you let it be.

As a self-confessed need, I never fit in and never cared much about fashion or advertising.  And, at least for most of the 90s, I had pressure to go into math and science especially if I wanted to be considered successful.  And I bought into the need to be successful.  I was in Math Counts in junior high even though Math is not my strong suit.  And I was in honors math and science classes all four years of high school because I was expected to be and because interest in non-science meant you were stupid and probably shouldn’t go to college.  I was a C student in math in high school and largely averaged a B in science.  But I was neither a mathematician nor a scientist.

In college, I flunked (well, I dropped the class before I flunked) physics.  I got a B in my only math class I was required to take.  For awhile I was going to minor in math, but after two days into the spring semester of my freshman year I dropped that math class and never took a math or science class again. 

It took me a year to figure out I wanted to be an anthropologist.  Even then I still felt I was a failure even though anthropology is not an easy field.  I had planned on becoming an electrical engineer like my dad and B’Elanna Torres on Star Trek: Voyager.  And then maybe be an astronaut.  Yeah, that didn’t happen after I realized in my college physics class I was just too stupid for math and science.

So anthropology it was.  Don’t ask me what I was supposed to do with it but it was easier than trying to force myself to excel in a field I sucked at.  Then graduation was upon me (which almost didn’t happen because I wasn’t told I had to register for graduation until my German professor made an off hand comment to me) and I had no clue what I was supposed to do.

I had no job prospects, no place to live, no real friends.  I had spent 22 years of my life doing what other people wanted me to do.  It was easier to make people happy than to think for myself.  Having dreams was stupid because they never panned out and I wasn’t meant to have dreams.

This has turned into more than I intended.  I wanted to write about consumer materialism and how that is affecting kids plus our definition and view of sex and gender.  But mostly about how stuff gets in the way, how it becomes everything.  And how pressure and unrealistic expectations hurt rather than help.
I spent a lot of years being a disappointment.  Still am to many, even myself.  I hadn’t intended to turn this into a rant and painful, bitter sharing.  I just wanted to point out how materialism and consumerism is affecting and influencing people today.

I’ve never really towed the advertising line but I have towed other peoples’ expectations and demands line.  I’ve lived a lot of my life trying to make people happy and failing miserably.  I know making myself happy and allowing myself to be happy and to have dreams is a big no-no.  Definitely not allowed.

So I probably should shut up now.  You probably really don’t want to read my pathetic, bitter, angry, pitiful words.


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