Walking On Eggshells

I spent most of my life after my sisters were born walking on eggshells around my mother.  I never knew what was going to set her off.  Though most of the time it didn’t involve me doing anything.  I was always afraid.  Afraid of the explosion.  Going from quiet monster to raging bull running down … Continue reading Walking On Eggshells

Why Yes…

I am fat. There.  I said it.  I’ve admitted what everyone else has seen. What everyone else has said is the worst thing about me.  About how ugly and stupid I am for being fat.  How everyone has judged me and found me worthless. Why am I fat?  I am not a pig.  I don’t … Continue reading Why Yes…

The Paddle of My Memory

Over at Homeschoolers Anonymous, they’re doing a series on spanking and corporal punishment.  Never having been homeschooled or part of a fringe religious group or just fringe, I haven’t submitted a story.  But I did want to write about my own story of spanking. What I remember most is the fear. I know I was … Continue reading The Paddle of My Memory

More Poems

Drowning You crash in Carrying the ocean of your emotions as if a hurricane has sucked them all up.  You release them not caring about the consequences, the blown down trees, the ripped roofs, the shattered windows, the complete destruction of a town.  For you it’s all about release about you sharing when nobody wants … Continue reading More Poems

Rules and Stability

Even though it’s 4:35 on a Sunday morning and should be sleeping, I feel more pressed to write. Rules matter, especially to someone like me who needs boundaries that will be respected since mine rarely were.  I like rules.  Not too many or overly strict, impossible ones but good, clear rules that work.  Not just … Continue reading Rules and Stability

Finding the Same

Or the shame. This time though, it’s about how I have emotional and physical reactions like I do with my mother. I’ve come to realize this one person in my life hits several of the same triggers, even some triggers I didn’t know I had.  But mostly it comes down to after spending even a … Continue reading Finding the Same