Creeping Into Sadness

This is the time of year it gets bad for me.  The holiday season.  October through at least Februay. A reminder of how screwed up I am, how much of an idiot I am for wanting to be loved especially by my family, how I’ve failed at everything, how I’ve deluded myself in thinking that … Continue reading Creeping Into Sadness

Liar, Liar

This is not a Jim Carey movie post. So the friend that I no longer want to be friends with, who shall henceforth be known as Wannabe Fundycath, was at Mass Sunday and her and her husband invited me to breakfast.  I know I shouldn’t have gone since I am working on distancing myself from … Continue reading Liar, Liar

Why Yes…

I am fat. There.  I said it.  I’ve admitted what everyone else has seen. What everyone else has said is the worst thing about me.  About how ugly and stupid I am for being fat.  How everyone has judged me and found me worthless. Why am I fat?  I am not a pig.  I don’t … Continue reading Why Yes…

The Paddle of My Memory

Over at Homeschoolers Anonymous, they’re doing a series on spanking and corporal punishment.  Never having been homeschooled or part of a fringe religious group or just fringe, I haven’t submitted a story.  But I did want to write about my own story of spanking. What I remember most is the fear. I know I was … Continue reading The Paddle of My Memory

More Poems

Drowning You crash in Carrying the ocean of your emotions as if a hurricane has sucked them all up.  You release them not caring about the consequences, the blown down trees, the ripped roofs, the shattered windows, the complete destruction of a town.  For you it’s all about release about you sharing when nobody wants … Continue reading More Poems

Being Forgotten

I’m seven Another Friday afternoon Going to the office, having to call you, again, to come pick me up, pick up S You say, voice distant on the telephone and not because of actual distance, that you didn’t forget, sounding airy and yet dismissive of me stating the facts The secretary listening in but not … Continue reading Being Forgotten